Why the New Year Makes Us Want to Start Over — It’s Science!

Why Hope Feels Urgent — and Why It Fades

We feel hopeful because pressure drops, we feel urgency because we don’t trust it to last, and we lose motivation when pressure returns.

SCIENCE INSIGHT

The brain treats moments like the New Year as a clear point to reset (temporal landmarks), which creates a mental separation between “before” and “after.” It’s that break that temporarily lowers mental and emotional pressure (cognitive and emotional load) because there are fewer expectations, fewer reminders, and fewer accumulated demands from what came before.

This is where your nervous system experiences that drop in pressure as relief, and it is that relief that allows the brain to become more flexible and future-oriented, and that openness is what we experience as hope, clarity, or possibility.

But the same reset that brings relief can also feel pressing or urgent because a new beginning always implies a deadline. “If this is a fresh start, then something should change.” This is why new jobs, and even moves, can feel both exciting and urgent — and why that motivation shows up, but also why it fades.

Once routines and demands return, both the sense of possibility and the urgency to act usually lower as well. The nervous system simply recalibrates back to normal.

COACHING INSIGHT

What matters here is how we respond to that moment. When that “fresh-start” feeling shows up, most people go straight to the idea that they should do something — decide, commit, change direction — before it’s too late. But that urgency isn’t guidance or clarity.

Since you’re no longer in a state of survival, you’re able to see things more clearly. The mistake is trying to turn that awareness into action before it has time to settle and integrate.

Instead of asking, “What should I do now?” or “What needs to change?” it’s often more useful to ask, “What am I able to see right now that I couldn’t see before — especially what’s already working that I haven’t been giving credit to?”

You’re getting information. Awareness of what has been quietly draining you, or something you’ve been doing out of habit that doesn’t actually need fixing and no longer requires your energy.

And sometimes, clarity shows up as noticing what is supporting you, and realizing you don’t need to undo everything to move forward.

That can look like:

• Realizing you’ve been carrying worry for your family out of habit  because you learned to hold it or it was expected.

• Noticing you’ve been over-preparing or over-explaining at work because it once helped you feel safe or credible, even though things have changed.

The insight isn’t to fix the habit — it’s that you can stop carrying the extra effort and build from what already feels solid and sufficient.

When you slow down instead of forcing momentum, you keep the nervous system calm long enough for clarity to deepen.

REFLECTION

The moment itself has information. And if you don’t rush it, that information lasts. Clarity tells you what is no longer workable. Integration helps you discover how to move without recreating the same pressure.

That can look like:

• Letting the “I can’t do this anymore” be true without deciding today .

• Noticing why your current (painful) situation is draining (pace, values, lack of autonomy, boundaries).

• Observing what actually restores clarity instead of urgency.

• Making a move from regulation, not escape.

If you’re feeling that fresh-start urgency, try this before you decide anything:

• Name the truth (one sentence).

• What is the clearest thing you know right now?

• Name the pressure (one sentence).

• What feels urgent about this, and what are you afraid will happen if you don’t act fast?

• Name the next regulated step (one small step).

• Not the big move. Just the next honest step that keeps you out of survival.

Clarity is about truth, not timing — and when we confuse the two, we rush ourselves into another survival decision.

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